I've heard of so many people passing away recently. Yesterday it was all over the news and every social media outlet imaginable that a top retired NBA star passed away. Kobe Bryant was known by just about everyone. I didn't even watch or keep track of basketball, but I knew who he was. Nine people passed away in that helicopter crash with Kobe Bryant. I know that he is getting the most recognition because his of who he was, but there were eight others that were taken to soon in that accident. Among those eight were three 13 year old young ladies that had a whole life ahead of them. While every death saddens me, it is truly a sad thing when someone so young passes away. It makes one wonder what would they have done with their life as an adult. Who would they have been? Who's lives would have been forever changed by knowing them? An average of 16,375 died in the United States every year from 1999 to 2006. This is less than 1 percent of all deaths that occur every year in the United States, but it is still a devastating blow to realize that many young people die every year. Someone out there is dealing with grief at any given moment of every day. They have lost someone close to them. There is a saying that goes into the different ways of describing those left behind after a death, such as a widow or widower, but there is no such way to describe the loss of a child. I've read studies showing that grief brought on by the death of a child is a so great and so devastating that it can literally break the heart and mind of the parent left behind. I was 14 when my mother died. The one thing I remember from that day is coming home from school and sitting on the couch while my family's pastor explained her death to my sisters and me and hearing my grandfather (who is a stalwart and stiff upper lip kind of guy) absolutely sobbing in my parent's kitchen. The grief of a parent that loses their child is one of the most palpable feelings. It is something that you can literally see and feel just being around that person. If you know someone that is dealing with the loss of a loved one here are some ways to help them cope: 1) To the grieving, it often seems as if friends disappear just when you need them most. Show up and just be there for them. If they need you to sit quietly and just be there then that's o.k. If they need you to sit and talk with them, that's o.k. too. The grieving will tell you what they need and more often than not if you just sit quietly with them you will innately know what it is they are in need of. 2) The number one way to supporting a grieving person is to listen to their stories. Often times someone that has recently lost a loved one will talk about that person in great detail. Recalling stories and adventures from the past. Talking about their feelings for the loved one helps those that are grieving to come to grips with the situation at hand. Your friend may need to work through their thoughts and will appreciate your presence and listening ear. 3) No matter what you do, you will not be able to take the pain away. Be prepared instead to hold a hand through incredibly intense emotions. Now is not the time to tell your friend that they will feel better, that there will be less pain, that at some point they will smile again. They don't want to hear that, I can assure you. 4) Try to be patient and understand that the grieving isn’t about you, so don’t take the yo-yo emotions of the griever personally. When my mother passed away my grandmother (her mom) became very cold and dismissive. As a teenager I thought I was the one that was messing up all the time and didn't understand that her anger was not about me, she was grieving and that was her way. Her anger was at the loss of her daughter. 5) Sometimes people will not want to talk about their grief at all and that’s OK too. Everyone grieves differently and there is no “right” way to go about it. There is no set timetable either. My heart goes out to the families left behind from that helicopter crash over the weekend. I feel immense pain for the mommas and daddies left to grieve the loss of their babies. I feel overwhelming sadness for the wives that lost their husbands and the husbands that lost their wives. I pray that as a community when someone loses a loved one we all come together and love on that person through their grief.
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AuthorThree Spunky Eclectic Sassy Darling Realtors® that live in the Hollywood of the South and help people all over the east metro Atlanta area with all kinds of real estate needs. Lynn Pynckels, Dewayna Pullum, and Stepfanie Gray Archives
January 2020
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